The festive season can be a wonderful time of joy and togetherness, with family gatherings, office parties, and nights out with friends. However, neurodivergent mental health at Christmas can face additional challenges, particularly for those with ADHD, autism, and dyslexia, making this time of year complex and sometimes overwhelming. From sensory overload to disrupted routines, the traditions and expectations at this time can feel particularly difficult or exhausting. While every neurodivergent person is different, a little understanding and thoughtfulness can go a long way in making the season more inclusive and enjoyable for ADHD, autistic, and dyslexic individuals. Read on for ways you can help the neurodivergent community navigate challenges at Christmas:
1. Minimise sensory overload:
- Have a quiet space where they can take a break alone during gatherings.
- Use soft lighting or offer areas with minimal decorations and flashing lights.
- Offer them the option to wear comfortable clothing instead of formal or smart party clothes.
- Be accepting of the use of ear defenders or fidget toys they may be using to cope with overwhelm.
2. Maintain routine where possible:
- Communicate plans in advance and include details like timings of meals and activities. Ideally keep meals to standard meal times or ensure there’s plenty of snacks available throughout the day.
- Avoid making last-minute changes or provide plenty of warning if changes are unavoidable.
3. Ease socialising and small talk:
- Be understanding if they prefer not to engage in small talk or need time to themselves.
- Offer other ways to interact, such as helping with tasks or one-to-one conversations.
- Be patient and forgiving if something is said impulsively or comes across differently than intended.
4. Reduce gift-giving stress:
- Ask for specific gift suggestions or provide the option for no gifts.
- Offer alternatives like gift cards or to remove the surprise element by letting them know what they’ll receive.
- If there are lots of gifts for them, try to give them throughout the day and not all at once to relieve overwhelm.
- Reassure them there’s no pressure to react in a certain way and don’t take it personally if they don’t react to present in a way you’d expect them to.
5. Adjust social expectations:
- Respect their need for breaks, solitude, or quieter activities during gatherings – suggest a walk outside for fresh air and respite.
- Make it clear there’s no pressure to stay longer than they’re comfortable with.
- Normalise leaving early without judgment.
- Be understanding that competitive family games can be difficult if they’re neurodivergent. Keep games light-hearted and brief with the option to opt-out.
6. Accommodate food sensitivities:
- Ask in good time if they have any food sensitivities or requirements and offer a variety of food options, including non-traditional dishes or their preferred meals.
- Avoid pressuring them to eat or try foods they’re uncomfortable with.
7. Allow for mask-free interaction:
- Foster an environment where they can feel safe being themselves without masking.
- Be empathetic if they appear fatigued or overwhelmed.
8. Respect their need for recharging time:
- Support their decision to step away from gatherings to recharge.
- Be flexible about participation and give them permission to opt out of activities without guilt.
A personal reflection on neurodivergent mental health at Christmas
A final thought from a neurodivergent team member who wishes to remain anonymous to avoid unintentionally upsetting any loved ones:
“Please don’t take it personally if we need time out, don’t want to participate in some activities or don’t react to presents as you were hoping. It’s not a reflection of how we feel about you, we simply communicate differently and socialising takes a lot of our energy – even though we genuinely love being with you! Please respect our needs and differences as we respect yours and we’ll be able to develop stronger and healthier relationships allowing everyone to thrive.”
By being aware of potential struggles, showing consideration and offering flexibility, you can help your neurodivergent friends and loved ones feel more comfortable, included and supported with their mental health at Christmas.
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