Be alert:

Not everyone who thinks about suicide will tell someone and there are some people who give no indication at all of their intention. However, there are warning signs that we can all look out for:

These include, if a person is:

• Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide
• Actively looking for ways to kill themselves
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
• Talking about being a burden to others
• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
• Suddenly very much ‘recovered’ after a period of  depression
• Visiting or calling people unexpectedly to say goodbye either directly or indirectly
• Making arrangements; setting their affairs in order
• Giving things away, such as prized possessions.

Be honest:

Tell the person why you’re worried about them, and ask about suicide.

Be direct:

Suicide remains a huge taboo in our society and the person at risk may have kept these feelings to themselves for a long time. By asking about suicide directly you are getting across the message that it’s OK to talk about it – and that you are there to listen. Say what you mean. Ask: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” or: “Have you been thinking about killing yourself?” and avoid phrases like: “You’re not going to do anything silly are you?” or: “Are you thinking of ending it all?”

Don’t panic:

Hearing that someone is feeling suicidal can be shocking, but it won’t help the situation if you panic. Try and stay calm and supportive.

Listen and empathise:

Listening in a compassionate and non-judgemental way is one of the most helpful things you can do. Avoid the temptation to try and change the subject or to list all the “positives” in the person’s life. Just listen and try and see things from their point of view.

Ask if they have a plan:

If the person has a specific suicide plan and the means to take their own life then they need urgent help.

Get help:

If you have serious concerns for the individual’s immediate safety, do not leave them on their own. You can ring 999 or, depending on your relationship with the person, you might support them to get an urgent GP appointment or take them to A&E. See also a list of helplines overleaf that may be helpful.

Do not put yourself at risk:

Your own safety must come first.

Take care of yourself:

Supporting someone who is suicidal can be shocking and distressing. Be mindful of your own wellbeing – and talk to someone you trust about how it has made you feel. Alternatively, it may help to phone one of the helplines overleaf to talk it through.