10 Reasons To Stay Alive: A Poem by Eileen Xu

Check out this moving poem and piece of writing from STOP Suicide Campaign Maker Eileen Xu:


“As someone who is mentally ill, I have always found myself drawn to other mentally ill people, whether that be knowingly, such as in a hospital environment, or unknowingly. Whilst the friends I have made are the best friends I could ever have asked for, it doesn’t come without its fair share of heartache. Our joys are euphoric, but our lows can be disastrous, yet they, and myself, have proved to be for me a fountain of creative inspiration.

Though I find it incredibly difficult to feel any shred of hope or positivity for myself, I have no trouble seeing it for others. This poem was one inspired by a message I had written to a friend at a low point in their life, and I can only hope that by sharing it, it can bring some solace to others feeling a similar way.

It can be incredibly difficult to live inside your own head, especially one where thoughts of suicide plague you on a monthly, daily or even hourly basis. It’s never-ending, the relentless barrage of thought upon thought, urge upon urge. It’s exhausting. And while ending it can seem like a way out, like it did to me not so long ago, we must realise somewhere deep down, convince ourselves somehow, that life is worth living.

Find something to carry on for. Even the smallest thing, like finishing a TV series, or the fact that your dog would miss you, is enough. Find the one thing that keeps you going; your friends, the flowers, the food in your fridge that would go to waste if you died – find it, keep it, cling to it. For everything is temporary, everything passes, everything, including pain, is transient. As Victor Hugo once wrote, “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” – Eileen Xu


We’re always on the lookout for like-minded people to help spread the STOP Suicide message – if you’d like to get involved, please email rob.earl@cpslmind.org.uk